The Biblical Wife
Marriage is a covenant and not a contract. Marriage is intended to be commitment to which we maintain trust and fidelity until separated by death.
God is the helper of all mankind and a wife is the helper to her husband.
A wife is a partner to rule over creation with her husband.
God created a specific order for a husband and wife. The husband is the head of the family. The wife is the helper of her husband. God created woman from the rib of man to be beside him as a partner not to be ruled over by her husband and not to rule over her husband.
God doesn’t bless mess, he blesses order.
Men have great responsibility to provide for and protect his family. He is to lay down his life for his family. A woman, a wife, must be a helper to her husband and to love, honor and respect him. A man needs these things in order to fulfill his responsibility to his wife and family. If you do not honor your husband, you will bring chaos and conflict to your marriage. You are to compliment each other in your roles and abilities as husband and wife. You are equal but opposite in the value that you bring to the relationship.
Proverbs 12:4
4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Respect your husband. Bring glory to him as his crown. Don’t criticize, shame, make fun of, compare him to other men, disrespect, belittle him, lecturing and nagging, complaining and being negative, controlling and manipulating with tears or withholding sex. These things crush your husband’s inner being. As a woman you have so much influence over your husband. Adam blindly followed his wife in disobeying God. A wife can guide her husbands decisions by being of noble character but not by disgraceful acts.
Proverbs 14:1
1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
As a wife you have the ability and responsibility to build up your house. You build up your house by being God fearing, God loving, noble, respectful, honorable, kind, loving and humble. You continually build upon your house by loving, obeying and following God in everything you do. You also have the ability to tear down your house. To destroy everything that you have built up with one dishonorable act or poisoned words that come out of your mouth. God gives wisdom to those who are humble and obedient. God gave you hands to either build or destroy. They are hands that mold, hands that hold and hands that fold. You mold and create by honoring God and by honoring your husband through the knowledge and wisdom of a God fearing life of obedience. Your hands are meant to hold. To hold up your husband with respect and help him when he needs a helping hand or just a hug of reassurance. You have hands that fold to pray for guidance, for relief from the burdens of this life, for your hearts to be restored. When you look at your hands, remember what they are meant for and the destruction that they can be used for.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
A good wife contributes positively to a man's life, bringing companionship, support, and partnership. Choosing a partner who will be a true companion, someone who shares in faith, love, and purpose is favored by God's grace and kindness. A harmonious marriage aligns with God's will and brings His blessing.
Proverbs 25:24
24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
You should seek peace and harmony in your relationship and prioritize a harmonious home environment. A peaceful, albeit uncomfortable, living situation is preferable to residing with someone who is constantly argumentative. The emotional distress caused by constant conflict outweighs the physical discomfort of the rooftop location. A peaceful solitary existence is better than a relationship filled with negativity and strife therefor value harmony and tranquility in your home life.
Titus 2:4-5
4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Do not be spiteful and critical of God's word. His order is truth and the way you should go in life. He knows better and wants the best for you and your marriage. These behaviors are pleasing to God and beneficial to your family and the church. Your behaviors are intended to prevent the word of God from being discredited.
Matthew 19:4-6
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
This is God's plan for humanity and design for family. It is the sacred and unbreakable nature of marriage as instituted by God. God's intention is for marriage to be a lifelong union.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ephesians 5:22-25
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Wives are arranged under the husband as the church (the people) is arranged under Christ and Christ arranged under God. Christ submitted to the Father as we should submit to our husband. Your husband should love his wife like Christ loves the people. Jesus gave up himself for the people and the husband should give up himself for his wife. God made order because Satan brings chaos. Chaos cannot be controlled with chaos but only out of order can chaos be controlled.
1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.
4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,
6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Ephesians 5:33
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Respect your husband because he is one with you. You are joined with him as one flesh. He loves you as he loves himself because you are part of him. He will honor you as his crown because of your noble character. You will inspire confidence and respect through your honesty, generosity, courage, and integrity.
1 Timothy 3:11
11 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
Modeling self restraint and moderation, being calm and reasonable, exercising rational control over one's impulses is a virtue worthy of respect and honor.
Proverbs 19:14
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord."
A "prudent" wife will weigh options carefully before acting. Wise people base each decision on their knowledge of a situation. Such a wise person is discerning and acts according to God's will. That wisdom is also reflected in an ability to restrain their speech. "Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin." Proverbs 13:3
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